Contributed by Amer Hassan Sanggacala for ICRC
THE five-month-long armed conflict that broke out in Marawi City, southern Philippines, in 2017 was a personal crisis for Isabel*. Her husband and son disappeared and still remain unaccounted for.
While dealing with her sense of loss, Isabel talks about getting involved with the ICRC’s accompaniment program (a support program providing holistic and wide-ranging assistance to families of the missing) and helping others cope with their challenges.
Her story: Since her husband and son disappeared, 43-year-old Isabel has been living in ambiguity about what happened to her loved ones. “It is the hardest thing I have faced,” she says.
Trained as an accompanier by the ICRC’s Mental Health and Psychosocial Support staff, Isabel leads peer support group sessions in her community. Since 2020, she has helped 22 families of missing people in three groups of six to eight families each.
Challenges along the way: “Taking on the breadwinner’s role abruptly was difficult. I used to work night and day, juggling multiple jobs, to support my family of six. I also struggled with reintegrating into society. It was easy for people to tell me to just accept that my son and husband had died, but not seeing their remains or having any trace of them makes us think otherwise. We still nurse a small hope that they’ll come back to us, alive,” shares Isabel.
Her inspiration: Isabel says that supporting other families of missing people gives her strength and gives meaning to her struggles as she can identify with them. “I feel a sense of relief in knowing that something good came out of my misfortune. Helping people makes my life more meaningful,” she says.
Circle of support: Isabel leans on her children and the families of missing people for support.
“Having people to dedicate your hard work to and shower your love on makes life more bearable. We don’t have much, but we have each other and that’s everything,” she says.
*Name changed to protect the identity
