It’s two years before the presidential election, but the way potential candidates are trying to catch our attention makes it seem like it’s happening next month. A note to them: use your best abilities to serve the “madlang pehpohl” so we’ll know who is most worthy of our vote.
Will it be Aida, Lorna, or Fe? Uh, wait—that’s from a Filipino song: “O pare ko, o pare ko / Ang kuwento ko’y pakinggan mo / Baka sakali ako ay ’yong matulungan sa problema ko / Sino sa tatlo ang iso-syota ko / Parang awa mo na pare, si Aida o si Lorna o si Fe.”
Actually, it’s Vice President Sara Duterte, former Vice President Leni Robredo, or Senator Risa Hontiveros.
With two years left, those “Tres Marias” may morph into First Lady Liza Marcos, Senator Imee Marcos, or Senator Loren Legarda.
I guess we’re better off choosing among Aida, Lorna, or Fe.
The next president could have been former House Speaker Martin Romualdez if he had played his cards right, despite his alleged involvement in ghost flood control projects. But some things are not meant to be—much like the flood control projects that became ghosts instead.
It’s now almost certain that the next president will be a woman—with or without a First Gentleman.
For now, all sorts of accusations—including everything but the kitchen sink—are being thrown at the Dutertes, perhaps in the hope that what the patriarch started as a promising sign for Mindanao, as the first-ever Mindanaoan president, will never be replicated. Even some Mindanaoans don’t want another Duterte to become president. It could be due to business losses—Tokhang may have driven a particular illegal business into bankruptcy, or at least that’s what we were led to believe.
And this could again be the next Duterte presidential candidate’s campaign strategy: “Tokhang pa more.” If only the patriarch had managed to avoid the International Criminal Court. But he did not; thus, making Tokhang the worst possible campaign slogan for the next presidential election.
Urban Dictionary defines a “banana republic” as a “country in Latin America run by a dictator, called so because the people of such countries were exploited by the United Fruit Company, an American corporation.”
The Philippines is not a Latin American country; therefore, it’s not a banana republic. Hmm.
All the while, you thought a banana republic was a country whose only agricultural product is bananas. Hmm.
And I used to believe that bananas, as a source of potassium, would lower my blood pressure.
There are beliefs that may be proven wrong in the future. Believing in a presidential candidate whom you think will save the Philippines from further ruin may turn out to be false hope. So how do we distinguish a genuine candidate from a fake one? I believe—oh, there’s that word again—that the more grandiose a political campaign is, the more likely it is that the candidate is hiding dark secrets, with a PR team eager to mesmerize voters through a concert-like parade of showbiz celebrities and fireworks.
