The very first diet book I ever bought was “Fit for Life” by the then-husband-and-wife team Harvey and Marilyn Diamond.

This was way back in the late 1980s—my first-ever attempt at weight loss. It was the time when I wanted to lose weight to look sexy for some people instead of for my own health. So, that was the deep why: I wanted to lose weight for him.

Upon learning my deep why, the friend who recommended the book to me said, “No, never ever try to lose weight for any guy. Do this for yourself.”

Many decades later, I’m finally dieting for myself and not for anyone else. Self-realization can take such a long, long time. Whew.

My weight-loss attempts multiplied as the years went by, but the ones I did take seriously were Fibre Trim tablets, Susan Powter’s “Stop the Insanity!,” Dr. Arthur Agatston’s “The South Beach Diet,” and protein shakes.

Other diets simply sounded too ridiculous. I mean, the Blood Type Diet? What the…?

These days, I eat ribeyes. Nom nom. Yeah, wishful thinking. But all I can afford is ground beef daily. This is another experiment. I’m now testing if daily beef intake will finally stop my carb cravings so that I won’t even react anymore when I see high-carb food. Like, absolute indifference. Ho-hum. Whatever. Keber.

And then Conti’s opens three branches here in Cagayan de Oro and I’m like, “Mango Bravo, anyone?”

Cucina Higala has its own version, Mango Mambo.

Mango Bravo is deliciously complicated with all the tastes and textures that melt in your mouth until they slide down the sides of your neck and send shivers down your spine.

Mango Mambo is for when you want a simple, creamy, smooth sweetness that melts in your mouth until it sends panic signals to your brain, demanding more.

With these two cakes now triggering my carb cravings, I have to brainwash myself with what Dr. Anthony Chaffee, a carnivore doctor, always loves to say: “Plants are poison.” Cakes are made of carbs. Carbs are plants. Therefore…

But tell that to those who lined up each time Conti’s opened a branch in the city. You: “Plants are poison.” They: “Cakes are not plants.”

Go ahead. Buy the Mango Bravo already. It’s definitely worth the carbs. That is, if your body is okay with carbs. If it’s not, ah, let’s not go to the “not” part for now as you savor each bite. Nom nom.

A carnivore diet does look expensive. But when you’re eating only twice a day, with no snacks and other food items in between, the diet comes out cheaper. For me, it’s just beef, pork, salt, water. I may add eggs again, depending on my body’s tolerance for them.

There’s this question posted on Facebook: “If you could go back in time to one day in your life and relive one single moment, what would it be?”

Hmm. That moment right before I started eating carbs. Which could be when I was a baby and about to have my first bottle of infant formula. Had I known then what I know now, I could have cried and refused to drink that, crawled to the fridge, opened it, climbed up to the freezer, tapped a piece of beef, and mimed, “I need beef bone broth.”

That would be a challenge for a baby, miming “I need beef bone broth.” Haha.