“OH my love, my darling, I hunger for your touch” are lyrics from the haunting song ‘Unchained Melody.’ But is there a “Singaporean Melody?” Perhaps, and judging by the tone of some people these days, it might share a similar tune. Maybe the lyrics should be “I hunger for your box?”
In my home province of Southern Leyte, specifically in Libagon, “Singapore” means cassava, a root crop that’s delicious when prepared correctly.
However, if anything goes awry during cooking or even planting, it can be highly poisonous. Many people there, though, prefer it in forms like cake, such as “Singaporean cake,” rather than simply cooked.
This leads to a local joke: A man became a widower three times. When asked about his first wife’s death, he said she “ate the Singapore.” The second wife? “She ate Singapore too.” And the third? He replied he struck her with a large wooden stick because “she would not eat Singapore.”
Lately, “Singapore” — the country — has become the subject of jest, especially with a certain person from Davao making it a destination.
For instance, when former Iligan City Councilor Roy Openiano went to Singapore, another former councilor, Joe Zalsos, joked that Davao City acting Mayor Sebastian ‘Baste’ Duterte might have gone there to fight Openiano instead of Gen. Nicolas Torre. Duterte had challenged Torre to a boxing match set for last Sunday.
The general accepted the challenge, but instead of going to the venue, Duterte reportedly went “posthaste” to Singapore.
Some Iliganons entered the fray, criticizing the Dutertes on air, calling the siblings “spoiled brats.” Others echoed the joke that the “missing sabungero” (cockfighting aficionado) narrative had been “upstaged” by the case of the “missing boksingero.” (boxer).
One person, defending Baste, reportedly said it’s “not easy to lose a father to a faraway land called The Hague because of Torre.”
However, Torre’s supporters claim he caught officials in Davao City “sanitizing” or “doctoring” police reports to make it appear a “very peaceful city.”
The general, for all his seriousness, has a sense of humor. Remember his “hihilain ko ‘yan” (I'll drag him) remark that many believe contributed to a certain individual’s trip to The Hague?
And so, one Sunday noon, before a large crowd at the coliseum, a smiling Torre was declared a “winner by default,” his gloved hand raised in victory.
He wore colorful boxing attire, and some here even joked that the acting mayor’s “colorful” tattoos were “shocked.”
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